Starting Over in Midlife: What the Camino Taught Me About What’s Next

0:00 I Almost Quit Because I Couldn’t See What Was Next

I almost quit because I couldn't see what was next. How many times have you done that in your own life? How many times have you almost quit on yourself because you couldn't see what was right around the corner? Sweet friend, I have a story for you today.

0:24 Welcome to Season Five

Hey you. Welcome back to another episode of Just Jelly Unfiltered. I am your perfectly imperfect podcast host, Jenn. If this is your first time listening, welcome. Pull up a chair, grab your coffee, your wine, whatever you got. No judgment here. And if you're hanging out with me, I just appreciate it. And if you've been here for a minute, you already know all the chaos that goes on back behind this mic. And I love you for being here. Truly, these conversations make my heart happy.

Y'all, we made it to Season Five. Five seasons of sitting back behind the mic talking about life, relationships, love, sex, faith, motherhood, menopause, and all the things that nobody warned us about. Nothing was off the table. I often think about the woman who sat down in episode one, Behind the Mic. This was supposed to be a little fun project with my best friend, a way to connect, build a community, and it has led to so much more. And here we are. Somewhere along the way, I found my voice and now I'm figuring out how to use it. It still takes practice. I'm a work in progress.

But before we dive in to today's episode, how are you? Are you thriving, surviving? Or maybe you're like me. You're running on caffeine and prayers. Bestie, whatever keeps you going, you got to do what you got to do. I loved reading all the Pen Pal letters. Keep them coming because I want to know what's happening in your messy middle.

1:54 What Now? What If You Can’t See the Road Ahead?

We have so much to catch up on. Europe, the Camino, moving to Orlando, becoming an empty nester, publishing a book, and apparently my ongoing quest to find a good nail salon and hairdresser. Ladies, you know what I'm talking about. But I always kept coming back to one question. What now? What if you can't see the road ahead? How do you keep going? Sometimes the next step is all we can see. Can that just be enough?

2:24 Day One on the Camino

I want to take you back to my very first day on the Camino. I had spent months planning hotels, luggage transfers, routes, the e-bike, the walking portion. Y'all, I had planned. I started the Camino del Norte out of San Sebastián with my friend Kristen, helmet on, excited, ready to go. And little Apple Annie, my Apple Maps, by the way, cuz I named them all, sent us up a brutally hard route. Apparently, there are multiple ways out of town. Who knew? I had no idea. I'm going to do a whole Camino episode coming in Season Five.

But I just remember making that first turn. All I could see was hill. No ending in sight, no cute cafe at the top, just more hill. And I kept asking myself, is this how every day is going to be? Because let me just tell you, friend, there was a moment when I thought I could have just bought a Gucci bag, a cute purse, and called it a vacation.

I kept pedaling and I stopped to catch my breath. The road was very narrow and then out of nowhere a car got really close to me and its mirror hit Ike, and that's my e-bike. I named him. It was a love-hate relationship. You develop a relationship when you're riding something that long. And ours was definitely a complicated one. It was a funny one. I blogged about it over on my Instagram. After that, I was shaking, like shaking, terrified. Every time I would try to pedal again, my anxiety would just flood right back.

3:55 “I Can’t Do This”: Calling the Taxi

I finally reached where I could see Kristen, and I remember the first words out of my mouth. I told her, "I can't do this." She said, "If you call a taxi, I'm going with you." So, there we were hanging out in the parking lot, two grown women trying to figure out how to get a 55-pound e-bike in a taxi. And somehow the taxi came and the bikes just fit in. And off we went. And I thought, "Okay, this is how day one is going to end. I'm in a taxi."

4:22 “Wait, That Was It?” How Fear Makes the Road Look Harder

And about 5 minutes from the hotel, I looked out the window and I said, "Wait, that was it?" That was the road ahead. It looked so much easier than what we had already climbed. I'd already made it through the hardest part of the day. I just couldn't see it. Fear had me convinced every mile ahead was going to be as hard as that hill I was on. Now I needed to just get somewhere safe. That day, after all that had gone down, calling the taxi just felt like the right thing to do.

But sitting in that car taught me something that I carried home with me and I think I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Sometimes we can't see the road and we assume the worst. How many times have you wanted to start the business, move to a new city, publish the book, take a trip, have the hard conversation, and then stopped because you didn't know what would happen next?

5:23 Sometimes We Have to Look Back to Move Forward

And that taxi ride made me realize something else. Sometimes to know where we're going, we have to look back at how far we've come. Think about that for a minute. Sometimes we have to look back to move forward. When I started this podcast, I had a microphone and a whole lot to say. I didn't have a five season road map. I just kept showing up. One episode became another. The conversations grew. You started writing me and sharing your lives with me, making me feel a little less alone in my very own messy middle.

And somewhere in there, I began to find my own voice. And that voice led me to writing Silent to Spoken. The community and connection grew. Through that, I was able to meet other people. I ended up getting an invite to the Cayman Cookout. That's where I actually met Kristen, who later became my Camino walking partner. And that friendship and those conversations became part of my path that took me to Spain. If I hadn't written the book, started the podcast, met Kristen, I may have never taken that journey.

Now I look back at all the pieces and I can put it together. A podcast I almost didn't start. A community that is now more than 170,000 people across all platforms, and a book with my name on the cover. A journey that I took across Spain. I couldn't have predicted that in that first episode when I sat down to hit record. What if I'd have waited until I had a whole road map, a business plan? We probably wouldn't be having this conversation today. I want you to just think about your own life for a minute. What have you already done that the younger version of you would be amazed by? Give yourself a little credit. Celebrate it.

7:12 Starting Over in Midlife Without Burning Your Life Down

Because even after those adventures, I came home to a whole new chapter I wasn't quite ready for. And through those adventures, I realized starting over in midlife doesn't require us to burn our lives down from the inside out. Sometimes a new chapter begins inside the life you already have.

7:37 Empty Nest: The Bedroom Door I Couldn’t Open

While I was on the Camino, my youngest daughter moved into her apartment. We thought our calendars lined up so she'd be settled in before I left. But the timing just changed. I came home from a big adventure, huge adventure, midlife transformation, proud and exhausted, and her room was empty. And y'all, I couldn't open that door. I'd crack it, stand there, and close it again. It took days. I've put some clothes in there now, but they're just on the bed. Are they in the drawers? Absolutely not. Baby steps, right? One small step at a time.

She's out there learning to be independent and find her voice. And I'm over here learning how to use the voice I have found. Two totally different chapters, but we're still trying to figure out life at the same time. And I've moved to Orlando. I'm trying to find my community, my church home, my people. And ladies, let's talk about the true midlife relocation challenge. Finding somebody you can trust with your hair, your nails, your dogs. That's serious business. And we ain't even going to talk about the dermatologist and our Botox lady. All those things you have to do.

Starting over can look like walking into a new church. Inviting someone to coffee. Learning to enjoy your own company, cuz that's where I'm sitting. Or turning your house into something new. That can be scary. That's where I'm starting. And it can feel quiet. It can feel awkward and exciting all at the same time. But that starting over didn't require you to burn your life down. And just when I thought I'd had enough new beginnings, and I had already thought I'd done so much, I became a published author while we had taken a break.

9:06 What If You’re Afraid to Let Your Dream Become Real?

What if you're afraid to let your dreams become real? The questions can get louder when something you've worked for finally happens. I remember the emotion on my launch day. There was fear, excitement, anxiety. It was all rolled into one. Cuz there's something about putting your words on paper and letting them go out into the world for everyone to read and judge and wonder. Are they going to understand what I was trying to say?

Silent to Spoken: A Woman's Journey Through the Pause. It's officially out. And I get emotional just saying that. Saying that I'm a published author. I still don't know what the book really holds for me if I'm being honest. I don't know what comes next. That's why I am dedicating Season Five to what's next, because I came home off this amazing journey to an empty room thinking what now? What's next? Wondering what if? What if nobody buys the book? What if somebody reads it and it doesn't connect with them? What happens if the right person reads the book and it pops off? Then what am I going to do?

10:06 Launch Day Without My Author Copies

The scarier part is launch day came and I didn't even have my author copies. I wanted everything to go perfectly as planned. I tried to plan the road ahead. I tried to have a road map and suddenly I couldn't see how the launch was supposed to work out. The book was available. Orders were coming in and people were supporting it and I had already done something so hard. I'd written the words and put them out there, but the next part was still unfolding and I had no control over it.

I didn't know what to do next. I kept thinking, is this it? What do I do? And here's the funny thing. I wrote a book about finding my words, finding my voice, and I still practice those lessons every single day, especially people pleasing. I'm in recovery, y'all. But those habits sneak back up every now and then. It took me knowing how to use my voice to go, "Hey, I'm really upset that my author copies didn't come in," to use my voice even during my launch, because I wanted to quit. I wanted to say, you know what, I wrote the book. They've published it. It's out there. I just won't post about it.

Instead, I started posting about being scared and upset and wondering what was going to happen next. And because I did that, I think that actually made my launch even more successful than I had planned, because people were relating to me. I wasn't the only author who's never had author copies on their launch day. Not every time we plan something can it go perfectly as planned. But what do you do? Are you going to quit? Cuz I almost did on day one, and I would have never gotten to experience the Camino had I quit.

I think the key takeaway from what's next is learning what our patterns are that are keeping us from taking the next step. So when we are questioning ourselves of what's next, we can step back and go, okay, I'm going to shoo that little voice that's back there telling me you have to have it all figured out. No, I don't have to see the whole road, just the next step. Which makes me think about how many good things begin with one little word: yes.

12:10 What Happens When You Start Saying Yes to Yourself?

What happens when you start saying yes to yourself? I remember I was at the Cayman Cookout. Kristen's husband and I were talking. We were all walking back from the restaurant and we were talking about being an entrepreneur and faith and connections. And I told him, you just never know where one conversation will lead or who somebody might know. And as we were having that conversation, somebody came by on a golf cart and offered us a ride. He said no. And afterwards, I paused for a minute. I looked at him. I said, "You should have said yes." He looked at me like I was crazy. But I said, "Who knows who was on that golf cart? You don't know who they know or who they are."

Now, I'm not telling y'all to hop into some random golf cart or talk to every stranger that you meet. Please use some common sense. But I'm talking about the opportunities we dismiss before we ever give ourselves a chance. I almost didn't go on that trip to the Caymans cuz I was terrified. It was actually my practice trip for the Camino. I said, "If I can't get on a plane to go meet a group of people that live in the same city as me because I was offered the trip, how am I ever going to get on a plane to go by myself to the Camino?" Because originally I was going to go by myself.

And I'm so thankful I took the first step, because I couldn't see how the week was going to play out. I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know anybody who was going to be there. But if I hadn't said yes to the trip, if I hadn't taken that very first step, I would have never met Kristen. I would have never been able to establish that friendship, that relationship, and start watering myself, learning who I am, learning my voice. I'm ready to grow my own garden. I think so many of us get tangled up in who we were that when we wake up and those titles like mom no longer fit us because we have an empty house, we don't know what to do with ourselves. It's letting go of our own expectations and what we think we should be doing.

I'm taking a trip back to Austin by myself. I've booked horseback riding, a UTV adventure, and I'm e-biking, and I'm boarding a plane and showing up and doing those things on my own, because there's not always going to be someone to do it with you.

14:31 Who Are You When You’ve Never Had to Be Alone?

The Jenn who started this podcast, this is going to really shock you. The Jenn who started this podcast five seasons ago, who sat down and hit record, had never even gone into a restaurant by herself. Yeah, take that in for a minute. I had always had kids or a spouse. I had never had to do anything on my own. And as I've started coaching other men and women, especially women, I hear that often. I've never had to be alone. If we've never had to be alone, how do we know who we are? How can we figure that out?

And now here I am, five seasons later, telling you I just planned 22 hotels across Spain, a different one every single night, 21 luggage transfers, and I e-biked 278 miles and walked the last 100 kilometers. That's not the Jenn who started this podcast. She was terrified. She would have never done that. It takes us getting uncomfortable to figure out who we are.

15:19 How Uncomfortable Are You Willing to Get in 2027?

2027 is right around the corner. I know a lot of us make vision boards. We write down our goals and so often we set them to the side. The vision board gets put in the closet and we don't look at it again until next year when we're ready to make a new one. But what if the things that we started putting on our vision board and writing down as our goals for 2027 actually started becoming real? The only way we can do that is if we get uncomfortable. How uncomfortable are you willing to get?

I'm apparently willing to get really uncomfortable, cuz let me tell you what my next midlife adventure is. And a lot of you are probably going to think, "My goodness, Jenn." Mount Fuji is on my bucket list. Apparently, Spain wasn't enough. I felt like I came home questioning myself, what's next? I felt like I had accomplished a lot of my career goals and personal goals in 2026. 2026 was a good year for me, but I want 2027 to be even better.

I'm going to talk this season about one of the things that I did that was truly life-changing in 2026, that changed how I showed up, how I make my vision boards, how I ran my life, that changed my business and my life personally in every avenue. It was life-changing. You're not going to want to miss that episode. And so, I'm praying over Mount Fuji. We'll see if it makes my vision board for 2027. But if I put it on that vision board, I'm really going to be praying over it, let me tell you, because I want to make sure I continue to push myself to get outside my comfort zone and get a little uncomfortable. What's your version of saying yes? Where do you finally need to say yes?

17:09 How Do You Trust God When You Don’t Know What’s Next?

Faith and taking action, because I've talked a lot about my journey with faith and reconnecting and deepening my walk over the past few years. How do you trust God when you don't know what's next? I get asked that a lot. God is already in our tomorrow. He already knows our hearts, our desires. We just have to be willing to take the first step.

My grandfather used to tell me this really funny joke, or at least I thought it was funny at the time. I was just a kid. But now I look at it from a different perspective. He used to tell me about this man. He said, "There was a man and the town was about to flood and they were telling people to evacuate." And he said, "Nope. God's got me." The water began to rise. The sheriff came by, knocked on the door and said, "Sir, we told you to evacuate." He said, "Nope, I'm good. God's got me." The water continued to rise and here came a rescue boat and he refused again. He ended up on the roof and here comes a helicopter. He still refused. He said, "Nope, God's going to save me."

He kept waiting for God to save him. Well, guess what? When he got to heaven, he asked God, "Why didn't you rescue me?" I can just imagine. Okay, I'm going to give you a little illustration here. I can just imagine God looking at him going, "Well, fool, what you mean?" No, I'm just kidding. God just looked down at him and said, "I sent you a state trooper, a boat and a helicopter. Man, all you had to do was get in one." And today, that story makes me laugh, because when I was younger, I looked at it completely differently. How often do we pray for direction and then still stand still because we want to see the entire plan?

I believe God is already in our tomorrow. I don't know where this podcast is going to lead, what opportunities will come from the book, or what my life will look like a year from now. But I can take the next faithful step tomorrow, today, whenever I feel I'm being called. I am willing to surrender. I started the Sunday Snapshot, and our first one was two Sundays ago, and there was a song by Elevation Church. Go back and listen to it. Listen to the words. Take it in for a minute. Think about what you're praying about when you sing this song. You're willing to surrender it all. But surrender is going to cost you something. It's going to cost you comfortability. Are you ready to get uncomfortable?

You pray. You say, "Yes, Lord. I am available. I hear your call." But how often do we say that, and then we're unavailable? We sit still. We're drowning cuz we're waiting.

19:37 There’s Still So Much Life to Live in Midlife

I believe there is still so much life to live, even in midlife. We are not finished. Not at 44, not at 54, not at 64. I hope I keep learning and growing and laughing with you along the entire way. I just want you to know you have to be willing to get uncomfortable. I kept thinking about that woman in the taxi. She was scared. She was disappointed. She couldn't see what was ahead. But she had already climbed the hardest hill. And that version of me went on to complete the Camino.

If you're at the bottom of your own hill today, I hope you'll look back and remember what you've already survived and accomplished in your life. Because for many of us in midlife, it's a lot. Give yourself some credit. Then ask yourself what one next step looks like. What have you been putting off because you couldn't see where it would lead? A business, a conversation, a friendship, a trip, a new chapter? Write me over in the Pen Pal section at Just Jelly Unfiltered. I want to hear your story.

20:47 Coming Up in Season Five

And we have so much more coming in Season Five. Next week, we're having some Halloween fun with Maria from The Pretty Truth, talking about what we are ghosting in midlife. We have new guests, familiar faces, and honest conversations about relationships, boundaries, parenting adult children, faith and finding our purpose, becoming an empty nester. We have all those conversations and so much more to still go through this season.

If you enjoyed this episode and you know someone in midlife who maybe needs to hear a little motivation to keep going, all you have to do is take the first step. Share it with them. Let's not keep our little community a secret. I love our little community. It's amazing. And don't forget, Silent to Spoken is out in the world.

21:33 First Look: The 2027 P.A.U.S.E. Planner

And I have a secret I've been keeping from you. Okay, I'm going to show you here in episode one. I created the Silent to Spoken 2027 P.A.U.S.E. Planner. It will be out soon on pre-order. It's a planner for building your next life. It's not something else to add to your to-do list. It gives you more space to pause, reflect, and realign with what matters most. And she's thick. Let me tell you, she's a thick girl. But I love it. I designed this. I think I am going to give a spiral option. I will know more about that in a few weeks. She will be available for purchase and pre-orders by the end of October. So, I hope you will get your copy.

But I made her this way so you can lay her on your coffee table or put her on your bookshelf with all your other books. And I want to show you very quickly, hang in there with me, guys, three things about this planner that make it a little different than any other planner on the market. One, you do have the vision board at the beginning, which is normal, but because we did a challenge in June, record yourself in June and then come back and meet me in January, which we're going to do, it also gives you a midyear vision board. I'm going to meet you back here in January and we're going to talk about how we've changed. I have my video up on my TikTok, and it's still not too late, if you haven't made yours, to check in with yourself.

The other thing that I really love is at the beginning of every month you have a Pause and Reflect. So it's how you're starting the month. And then at the end, Reflect and Celebrate. It's how it ended. So that way, good or bad, you get to pick and choose what you're taking into the next month. You are going to leave and let go every month what no longer serves you, what was no longer yours to carry, and let it go before you enter your next month.

Those are my favorite things about this planner. And I'm sure when 2028 comes around, I'm going to have tons of changes. This is my first planner, so be kind to me, ladies and gentlemen. But I do love her, and she is so pretty. So, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Just remember, the deeper we dive, the sweeter it gets. And I love y'all, and until our next conversation, just stay sweet out there, and I will see you in the next episode with Maria.