Dear sweet friend,

Hey, it's me.

Have you ever looked around at your life and realized you are still becoming?

I think somewhere along the way many of us were taught that by a certain age we should have ourselves figured out.

By 30. By 40. By retirement. By the time the kids are grown. By the time we get the promotion. By the time we finally arrive.

Yet here I am. Forty-four years old. A wife. A mom. An author. A podcast host. Preparing to walk across Spain.

And I still find myself asking, who am I becoming now?

Finding yourself is not a one-time event. It is a lifelong practice. We are all becoming.

This week's guest on the podcast is my friend Jerod. His willingness to speak first is what moved me. He encouraged me. He helped me step out into my true self. I found my voice because he was willing to use his.

As I listened, I realized something.

The Same Invitation, Different Details

Some people find themselves after divorce. Some after grief. Some after their children leave home. Some after estrangement. Maybe it's after changing careers, moving cities, losing relationships, rebuilding faith, or finally deciding they are tired of living for everyone else.

The details may be different, but the invitation is the same.

So if you are reading this still looking for your voice, still wondering who your truest self really is, this letter is for you. You are not alone here.

Man or woman, wherever you are standing, you are welcome here. We were never meant to walk through this season alone.

Tell the truth. Be honest about where you are. And have the courage to take the next step anyway.

Returning to Who You Have Been All Along

Because finding yourself is not about becoming someone new.

It is about returning to who you have been all along. And some of us, even now, are still discovering who that is.

For so long I was told what to say, what to believe, who should or shouldn't be a guest, what I should or shouldn't write about. When to speak and when to stay quiet.

I'm learning I don't need permission to be myself.

I'm getting ready to set off in eight days on a journey around the world with my daughter. I am looking forward to us both finding our voice together. My younger daughter encourages me to step forward in who I am becoming.

I'll write you from the road.

🎧 The Full Conversation Drops Tomorrow

The full conversation with Jerod drops tomorrow. It is an honest one, and I think it will find some of you right where you are.

Read the Episode Notes Listen on Spotify

Come Say Hello

And if something here found you, come say hello. Over on Just Jelly you can read my Hey You notes and write me back, privately or to share. Let's be pen pals while I travel — justjellypodcast.com. I have been loving all the notes and backstage conversations.

Silent to Spoken in finding your way. Tell me over on Silent to Spoken where you are finding your voice.

Don't quit in the quiet.

Stay sweet out there.

I love you,

- Jenn

P.S. Remember — the deeper we dive, the sweeter it gets.

Frequently Asked Questions

What does it mean to find your voice in midlife?

Finding your voice means telling the truth about who you are instead of who you were expected to be. It is less about becoming someone new and more about returning to who you have been all along. It often starts with one honest sentence.

Is it normal to still feel like you are becoming in your 40s?

Completely. The idea that we should have it all figured out by a certain age is a myth. Becoming is a lifelong practice, not a destination, and many people find themselves after divorce, grief, an empty nest, or a hard reset.

How do you start being your authentic self?

Start by being honest about where you actually are. Then take one courageous next step, even a small one, that lines up with who you want to be. You do not have to have it all figured out to begin.