A Resource · October 5, 2026

You Don't Have to Carry This Alone

A postpartum mental health guide for the mom who is scared, the partner who wants to help, and anyone who feels alone.

By Jenn Board

Hey you, it's me.

If you found your way here, you are likely looking for something. Maybe answers or reassurance, or just someone to help you figure out what to do next.

I hope this resource helps you find a place to start.

Maybe you are reading this at 3 a.m., with a baby asleep on your chest and a knot in your stomach. All you know is that something does not feel right, but you cannot quite explain why. Maybe a thought scared you. Or maybe you already tried to tell someone how you were feeling, only to walk away feeling like they did not really hear you.

Wherever you are right now, I want you to know this:

Needing help does not make you a bad mom.

You do not need to find the right words or know exactly what is wrong. And you do not have to figure it all out tonight.

Start here. Take what you need. Skip what you do not. The rest will still be here when you are ready.

Why I wrote this

I am a mom to two daughters, have experienced a miscarriage, and am also a bonus mom. After my second daughter was born, I struggled with anxiety, depression, and isolation. Even so, I kept going, caring for everyone else and telling myself things would get better. It did not get better on its own. I hope this resource helps you find the words for what you are experiencing and connect with the care that is right for you.

Asking for help is not weakness. It takes strength to speak, especially when you are afraid of being misunderstood.

I wish I had asked for help sooner.

Asking would not have made everything easy. It would have meant I was not carrying it alone.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to hold a mother. Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that needing the village means we are failing. It does not. It means we are human. Science tells us that perinatal mental health conditions are treatable. Faith reminds us that we were never meant to carry our burdens alone. Scripture asks us to carry one another.

In 2026, Lindsay Clancy's trial brought postpartum mental illness into living rooms across the country. Her first trial ended in a mistrial in September 2026, and the case remains unresolved. I am not here to debate guilt or innocence. I am offering a resource: whatever a court decides, the lesson for every family is the same. Know the signs. Speak early. Act fast. And if you still feel something is wrong, keep asking questions. Get a second, third, or even fourth opinion until you feel your concerns have been fully heard and appropriately evaluated. Trust yourself enough to speak up when something feels off. You know your mind, your body, and your spirit. You do not need all the answers to know when something does not feel right. I work with women in every phase of life. In every season, one truth holds. No one should walk alone.

Following the Lindsay Clancy case?

If you have been following the Lindsay Clancy case and something in it feels close to home, please keep reading. You do not have to be sure what you are experiencing before you ask for help. If you are having thoughts that scare you, start with the section "What if I am scared to tell anyone what I am thinking?" Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department if anyone is in immediate danger or you notice signs of postpartum psychosis. Call or text 988 if you are having thoughts of suicide or are in a mental health crisis. Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) for free, confidential support from counselors any time during pregnancy or after birth, even if you are not in crisis.

For the mom who is scared

You are not the only one.

Mental health conditions during pregnancy and after birth are common, and they are treatable. They can begin during pregnancy, not only after the baby arrives. In one large study of 10,000 women screened four to six weeks after birth, about 1 in 7 screened positive for depressive symptoms. The mom next to you in the pediatrician's waiting room may be carrying the same weight.

Another important finding from this study is that, among the women who screened positive and were evaluated, the onset of their episodes was as follows:

• 40.1% after giving birth.
• 33.4% during pregnancy.
• 26.5% before pregnancy.

Read the original JAMA Psychiatry study.

Unsure if this is the baby blues or something more?

Baby blues are mild mood changes that can happen in the first few days after birth. Up to 80% of new mothers experience them, and they usually ease within about two weeks. Talk with your provider if your feelings are severe, getting worse, lasting more than two weeks, or making it hard to get through the day. Feel free to ask sooner; you do not have to wait two weeks.

Some signs worth naming out loud:

• Sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness that does not lift.
• Worry or panic that takes over your day.
• You cannot sleep even when someone else is caring for the baby.
• You feel disconnected from your baby, your partner, or yourself.
• Guilt, irritability, or losing interest in things you used to enjoy.
• Thoughts that frighten you.

If any of these sound familiar, that is more than enough reason to start a conversation.

What if I am scared to tell anyone what I am thinking?

This part is for you.

Maybe you had a thought so frightening that you immediately wondered, "What kind of mother thinks that?" Maybe you have not told your husband. You have not told your best friend. You definitely have not told your doctor.

Because what if they misunderstand? What if they think you are a bad mom? And underneath all of it, the fear you can barely whisper: What if they take my baby away?

I understand why that fear keeps mothers silent. You love your baby. You may be doing everything you can to care for them while privately wondering what is happening inside your own mind.

Here is something important to know: Unwanted, intrusive thoughts can happen with perinatal anxiety and OCD. Having a frightening thought does not automatically mean you want it to happen. Clinicians who care for new mothers are familiar with these concerns. Their role is to understand what you are experiencing and help you find care that works for you.

Please do not let shame make this decision for you. When you speak with a qualified healthcare professional, tell them what thoughts you are having, whether you have an urge or intention to act, and whether you feel able to keep yourself and your baby safe.

You do not have to know what to call it. You do not need the perfect explanation. You can simply say:

If someone you trust is sitting beside you, hand them this guide when the words will not come. You do not have to carry this burden in silence. Speaking can be the first step toward getting the support you need.

Bring a short note to your appointment

It is okay if the words are hard to find in the exam room. Try writing a few lines on your phone or on paper, then read them aloud or share them with the clinician. If you would like, bring someone you trust for support, or ask to speak with the clinician privately.

• I am ___ weeks pregnant / ___ weeks or months after birth.
• This started ___. It happens ___. It is getting better / worse / staying the same.
• It affects my sleep, eating, daily tasks, or connection with my baby like this: ___.
• The thoughts or experiences I have been afraid to mention are: ___.
• My medications and supplements: ___. Personal or family mental health history: ___.

If you already asked and still feel unheard

Maybe you already did the brave thing. You asked. And maybe someone told you to rest or said this was normal, so you left without a plan.

I urge you not to let one disappointing conversation make you feel you have to handle this alone. Asking for help may take more than one conversation. You can go back and say:

You can also request an assessment from another OB, midwife, primary care clinician, or a mental health professional with perinatal experience. The PSI provider directory can help you find one. New or worsening safety concerns require urgent care; do not wait for a routine follow-up.

If money or logistics are in the way

• Ask your insurer which perinatal mental health clinicians are in network and ask providers about telehealth and reduced fees.
• Ask a hospital social worker or care coordinator about local services, transportation, and childcare during appointments.
• Call the Maternal Mental Health Hotline for help finding local resources.
• Ask one person for one task: "Please sit with me while I make this call. I am having trouble getting started."

For the dad or partner thinking, "What am I supposed to do?"

You may be worried about her, about the baby, and afraid of saying the wrong thing. Here is the good news: you do not have to diagnose her. Your job is to notice, listen without shame, protect her rest, and help her get care. You are part of her village. Often, you are the first.

What to notice

Watch for changes from her usual self. She cannot sleep, even when you have the baby. She seems frightened, hopeless, agitated, confused, withdrawn, or unlike herself. She mentions thoughts that scare her. She seems convinced of things that do not match reality. You are not assigning a label. You are noticing that something has changed.

What to say

If she tells you about frightening thoughts

Stay calm enough to listen. Thank her for trusting you. Tell her it took courage, and your response may affect whether she feels safe telling someone else. Gently ask whether the thoughts are unwanted, whether she wants to act on them, whether she feels able to keep herself and the baby safe, and whether she is hearing or seeing things others do not. Then help her share this with a qualified healthcare professional.

When you stop asking and start acting

Sometimes, the focus needs to shift from whether she wants another appointment to making sure she is safe. If you believe there is immediate danger, suspect psychosis, or are concerned she may harm herself or someone else, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. Her safety comes first. Caring for her may sometimes mean making the call she cannot make herself.

Make the help specific

• Take over meals, household tasks, and night feedings where you can, and protect her chances to rest. Discuss feeding and sleep plans with the care team.
• Drive her to appointments and care for the baby while she is there.
• With her consent, share what you have seen: "She has had chances to sleep but cannot. This started on ___. It is affecting ___."
• Name a second trusted adult who can help with childcare, rides, or overnight support.
• Keep checking in well past the first weeks. Many serious concerns appear months after birth.

Support means listening, sharing the daily load, and helping her access appropriate care. Minimizing symptoms, keeping serious safety concerns secret, or repeatedly postponing care can leave her without the help she needs. You can respect her feelings and act when safety is at risk.

Your mental health matters, too

About 1 in 10 fathers experience depression during pregnancy or in the first year after birth. If you notice persistent low mood, anxiety, irritability, or difficulty functioning, get support for yourself. A steady partner is one who is cared for, too.

PSI support for dads offers resources and free groups for you.

If you do not have anyone to ask

Maybe you read "ask your partner" and felt your stomach drop. Maybe you do not have a partner, or your family is far away, unsafe, or unkind. Maybe you have just moved. Maybe your friends do not have babies, and you are not sure how to explain.

Hear me. Not having a village yet does not mean you are meant to do this alone. It means we build one, one ask at a time.

Places to start

• Call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA. Counselors listen, and they can help connect you with support in your area. Partners and family members can call too.
• Join a free online support group from your couch. Postpartum Support International offers groups for pregnancy, postpartum, loss, dads, and more.
• Call 211 or visit 211.org to find local help with food, housing, transportation, and childcare.
• Ask your baby's pediatrician. You will see them often in the first months, and many offices check on moms, not only babies. Tell them how you are really doing.
• Ask the hospital where you delivered about social workers, new-parent groups, or home visiting programs in your area.
• Reach out to a faith community. Many churches offer meals, pastoral care, parent groups, and referrals to licensed counselors. The MomCo, formerly MOPS, connects moms through local churches.
• Try one person nearby. A neighbor. A coworker. Someone from your prenatal class. Someone who once said, "Let me know if you need anything." They meant it. Let them.

How to ask when it feels awkward

Keep asking until someone listens. If the first person cannot help, ask the next one. A no from one person is not a verdict on your worth.

If you are still expecting, find your people now

When I was preparing to become a mother, I leaned on my mother-to-be class. Having a place to ask questions and connect with other women mattered more than I expected. Ask your delivering hospital about childbirth classes, new-parent groups, and classes that include partners. Build the village before you need it.

In Central Florida, start with Orlando Health prenatal classes and Orlando Health support groups. Elsewhere, ask your hospital, OB, or midwife what is offered near you.

When help is urgent

Postpartum psychosis is rare, affecting roughly 1 to 3 in every 1,000 births, and it is a medical emergency. It usually begins suddenly, often within the first weeks after birth. Warning signs include hearing or seeing things others do not, beliefs that do not match reality, paranoia, severe confusion, or unusually high energy with very little sleep.

What to do right now

• Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. Do not wait to see whether symptoms improve. Tell responders the person is pregnant or recently gave birth.
• If you can safely stay, do not leave her alone, and do not leave her alone with the baby. Have another trusted adult care for the baby. If you cannot safely stay, move yourself and the baby to safety and call.
• Tell responders exactly what you have seen and heard: sleep changes, confusion, unusual beliefs, voices or visions, threats, statements about death or harm, and access to dangerous items.
• Reduce access to dangerous items only if it is safe. Avoid confrontation and follow responders' instructions.
• A support group, pastoral conversation, or helpline callback should never delay emergency care.

And please hold on to this: postpartum psychosis is treatable, and recovery is possible with timely care.

Plan together

Awareness brings understanding for both parents. The best time to talk about mental health is before you need to. Talk with your partner or support person about your personal and family mental health history, ideally before pregnancy, but also during pregnancy, after birth, or whenever a concern arises.

These conversations can feel vulnerable. Make room for honesty and compassion so shame does not keep either of you silent. Then share what you learn with your care team.

• Discuss personal and family mental health history and screening with your prenatal team.
• Ask who to call during office hours and overnight, and what needs urgent care.
• Agree on help with meals, household tasks, childcare, appointments, and rest. Name a backup person.
• Save the numbers below in both phones and revisit the plan through the first year after birth.

Phone numbers you can save today

• 911: immediate danger, suspected psychosis, or risk of harm. Or go to the nearest emergency department.
• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, 24/7, including if you are worried about someone else. Chat online.
• National Maternal Mental Health Hotline: call or text 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262). Free, confidential, 24/7, in English and Spanish with interpreters for other languages.
• Postpartum Support International HelpLine: call 1-800-944-4773 (press 1 for Spanish, 2 for English). Text 800-944-4773 (English) or 971-203-7773 (Spanish). This is a callback service for support and referrals; do not use it in an emergency.
• Call 211 or visit 211.org.

Frequently Asked Questions About Pregnancy and Postpartum Mental Health

These answers offer a starting point for getting help. They cannot diagnose what you are experiencing. If there is immediate danger, suspected psychosis, or you cannot keep yourself or your baby safe, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department.

No one should walk alone

If you take one thing from this guide, let it be one small step today. Save a number. Write down what has changed. Send one text asking for one specific thing. If something feels unsafe, call 911.

Start with the printable emergency contact form at the end of this guide. Fill it out, and keep it somewhere easy to find.

Print the Emergency Contacts Form

I work with women in every phase of life, from the first pregnancy to the messy middle and beyond. I have watched what happens when a woman finally says the hard thing out loud. The weight does not vanish, but it is shared. That is what a village does.

I wish I had asked sooner. I am asking you not to wait.

Reach out. Keep asking until someone listens. And if you have walked this road already, be the someone for the next mom.

With love,
Jenn

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