Hey sweet friend. Come sit with me for a moment.
A few weeks ago, I sat down over on Lavish Life Living and wrote you a tidy little blog post. The Weight of the Chain. I told you about the Masters. I told you about the Harvard study. I invited you into a 30-minute-a-day digital detox for the month of May, and I called it an experiment.
Friend. It is not an experiment anymore.
Somewhere between the silence and the science, this thing turned into something else. Something I did not see coming. And I cannot sit here and pretend with you. You know me. I will be honest to a fault. I know you will not judge me.
So let me ask you what I have been asking myself.
How are you really doing with the May Digital Detox?
I have not recorded a podcast episode in weeks. And it is not because I do not have something to say.
I intentionally paused Just Jelly Unfiltered back in April. Not for strategy. Not for content planning. Because I was overwhelmed, stressed out, and refusing to lose myself again.
It is the kind of overwhelmed that does not always look loud on the outside, but inside, it is everything at once. And as I am writing this today, I still have not picked the mic back up.
I feel the call to speak. I really do. But I am also sitting with God, asking what that is supposed to look like now. Because something in me has shifted.
Hearing What Is Underneath
This pause has not just been about stepping away from noise. It has been about finally hearing what is underneath it.
Since starting this detox, I have noticed my emotions more. The good ones. The hard ones. The ones I used to move past too quickly. I am not rushing through them anymore. I am sitting in them. Processing them. Letting them tell the truth.
And here is what I did not expect.
Finishing my book opened wounds I did not realize were still that tender. It became a mirror I could not look away from.
There is this tension I have been navigating. Completing something that means so much to me, and then feeling my nervous system immediately want to pull back, to hide, to protect.
Like a quiet voice saying, being seen is dangerous.
That story again.
And maybe you have felt that too. You get so close to becoming who you are meant to be, to having the dream you have always wanted come true, and something inside you tries to convince you to disappear instead. To let it go. The questions I have been asking and answering. You are too old. Why put yourself out there. Why go through it all. Being invisible is easier.
Sound familiar?
Standing in the In Between
That is where I have been. Standing in the in between.
But this time, I am choosing differently.
I do not want to hide. I do not want to pretend I have already figured it out. I want to live aligned with what I say I believe. I want to show up honestly, not perfectly. I want to process life with you, not perform it for you.
Because if I am being real. I have seen my patterns. Starting strong, then pulling back before the finish line. Getting overwhelmed, then turning that frustration inward. Being harder on myself than I would ever be on anyone else.
I have been my own biggest obstacle more times than I can count.
And breaking those patterns, especially the ones wired into your nervous system, it is harder than I expected. There is no quick fix. No overnight reset. Just small, intentional moments of choosing differently. Staying when I want to run. Feeling instead of avoiding. Telling myself the truth instead of the story.
Seven Lanes of Traffic
Right now, I am learning how to sit in it. Because if I could describe it honestly, it feels like seven lanes of traffic inside my mind, and they all collided at once.
And I am trying to find my footing again. Not rush past it. Not pretend I am fine. Just find steady ground.
So here is what I am doing. I have started reading and studying what is actually happening beneath the surface, not just emotionally, but in my whole body. And with finals for my second semester right around the corner, it feels like everything is meeting me in this exact moment.
I have been slowly working through Try Softer by Aundi Kolber, and it has been putting language to what I am experiencing in real time. She is a licensed therapist who writes from faith, and she has a way of explaining how your nervous system holds old patterns that finally made sense to me. The whole book is built around the idea that we do not have to white-knuckle our way through life. That alignment is not about trying harder. It is about trying softer.
Quick note from me. I am sharing a book I am reading. We are walking it together. Please do your own research before purchasing. What is meeting me in this season may not be what is meeting you, and that is okay.
How your nervous system holds onto old patterns. How it tries to protect you, even when you are no longer in the same place. And how healing is not something you think your way through. It is something you feel your way through.
Building From Alignment, Not Pressure
I am giving myself permission to move slower. To let things settle internally before I rush back into being on again. Because I do not want to build from pressure anymore. I want to build from alignment.
The podcast will come back. Not forced. Not rushed. Grounded.
This move to Orlando feels like more than just a move. It feels like a reset. A chance to clear the noise and step into who I am becoming with intention.
And something else shifted in me during this season. I rededicated my life to God. And I am still learning what that looks like in real life. Not perfectly. Not polished. But honestly.
If You Are Walking the May Detox With Me
This is what the silence sounds like on the inside. It is not always pretty. It is not always profound. Sometimes it is seven lanes of traffic. Sometimes it is a quiet sob in the kitchen. Sometimes it is just sitting with God and saying, I do not know what I am doing, but I am here.
If that is where you are, you are doing it right. The detox is not about feeling peaceful all month. It is about feeling honest. And honest is messier than peaceful, but it is the only way home.
One Promise
One thing I will always promise you is this.
I am still here. Healing. Growing. Moving. Even when it is slow. Even when it is messy. Because this is where real life happens.
And if you are in your own version of a pause right now, you are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming.
I am right here with you. I love you. I will be here. Writing. Sharing. And soon, recording again.
— Jenn
Walk With Me
The deeper we dive the sweeter it gets. Greatness really does live inside all of us. Walk slowly. Listen deeply. Live lavishly. I love you.
P.S. If you want the quiet notes, the ones I do not post anywhere else, come join me on the email list. The signup is right here on the blog. Especially right now. This is the season I am writing the truest things, and I want them to find you.
